You gotta see the artistry in tearing the place apart with me.

"Nothing makes people think shit is happening like cranes."

I'm back.

Things aren't easy. I can't remember if they ever were.

I am over romanticizing again. I remember dancing in candlelight and praying for cars to start. I remember sweltering heat and songs on repeat. For hours. I remember eating pistachios and feeling guilty for the words I couldn't find in my twisted mind. I remember rationalizing the ridiculous.

I miss feeling ridiculous. That was easy.

I need you to come on stage. I need you to say your line and I need you to touch me like you mean it. I can't hold this up alone. Enough has gone wrong tonight. The queues are off beat. I lost the shotgun backstage. You knocked over the lamp. I broke character. Just say your fucking line.

Shut off the lights. Escort the audience out. Refund their tickets. The show is over.

There is too much to write about. But the words are shy. They've become accustomed to my mind. Writing them requires logic. I lack logic.

I'm not sorry.

Maybe a little bit sorry.