And the sign said long haired freaky people need not apply.

Natural selection has been tampered with. And I'm not happy about it.

This whole great thought process began yesterday, when Lyndsay and I were sitting in the Crowfoot station bus-waiting hut. Well, correction, by this point we were no longer sitting. We were standing on the bus-waiting hut's benches. This is because they place those six, scrawny heaters 20 feet above the heads of soon-to-be passengers below.

Now, either this is one hell of an oversight, or a protective measure from the idiots who would swing off the scorching metal.

If Darwin were head of the Calgary Transit board, not only would he say that the 76 and 199 should come every 3 minutes, but that these heaters should be lower as to actually do their jobs, and perhaps a big sign put up instructing patrons not to touch them. And the fools who STILL think grabbing on to them is a good plan will experience tremendous scalding pain and hopefully they will be eradicated from the human race (and won't we be better for it?).

Now, we have not only meddled with natural selection in our bus shelters. Oh no, it gets worse. For thousands and thousands of years, we have been deliberately killing off the prime male specimens in the world.

War.

Oh yes. They won't take you if your feet are a little too flat, if you're a couple inches under par or if you're not built like a lion. I'd argue they also took the ones with glistening eyes and just enough five o'clock shadow to say "yes, baby, I'm the gentle rugged type."

They took the cream of the crop, and sent them to be slaughtered and slaughter the rest of the world's cream of the crop.

What's wrong with this picture??

They deliberately left the flat footed, heater touching, two inches under par males to mate with the females.

For thousands of years, we have been breeding this unnaturally selected race. And not unnatural selection like breeding for the nicest, juciest strawberry. No, we're breeding for the scrawniest, most sour kumquat (reference: see previous blog posts). In modern warfare, however, we've corrected our ways a little. We now accept lots and lots of people, Joe Plumbers and Tall Dark and Handome's alike. However, I do not believe that this eternity of a mistake is correctable. We have been bred to fail.

I'm sorry, Darwin. We let you down.

I'm that great big one in the corner.